Number

Nana Sastrawan in Poetry

"HEAVEN was in the mother's feet. If you don’t believe, try to bow down to her feet when she is wearing a skirt, then lift your head up, that's heaven. Hahahahaha..., " that laugh of Mbah Asem, always make me chilling.

 Of course I believe, because the mister Kyai also say that heaven is in the mother's feet. And Mbah Asem more clearly gives the picture, I immediately ran to the house, wants to prove two wise man who admired by the people of the village, when I got in the front yard, I saw my mother was hanging mattress, banging the mattress with a broom, she was wearing a negligee.

            Without thinking, I immediately bowed down-then lifted up my head according to the instructions of Mbah Asem.

            “Oh… that’s the Heaven,” I said.

            Mother shocked-and then she snarled knowing that I made her a joke, small children who are still runny, childish, didn’t know anything about Heaven.

            WHAM!

Broom landed on my face. Since then, I no longer want to find Heaven. I'm more interested in looking for numbers. Because the number is promising, will bring happiness that maybe some kind of Heaven, for me a number is one of the greatest achievement if I can find the right number.

            Most people would say that looking for a number is useless, a waste of energy and make mad. However, I feel pleasure in itself what it's like looking for a number, and this is a clear goal, not inconsequential as most people in finding the numbers. I rely more on intuition ability to look up the number, depth hone it to be in a long reflection point in order to produce good numbers and could allegedly illegal, at least for myself. 

***

Rowdy atmosphere at the intersection of the village! People talk about each number that will be installed.

“4789.”

            “2109.”

            “8756.”

            “12… hmm… What number next?”

            “47, that’s the next number, it must be goal!”

            “How many numbers you want to place?”

            “Four number of course! Big rewards!”

            Then….

            “Why are you silent? You usually the first ... you are unusual today?”

            “I’m absent today, have not hear God inspiration.”

            I left the toggle gambler group at the crossroad of the village, which also became a field where my efforts as a motorcycle taxi. As a motorcycle taxi gambling toggle is a dream to earn much money in the easy way, I can propose Mimin the sexy and buy a new bike.

            Her sweet smiles always hover over my face, unfortunately her father is mercenary. So our love is not easy directly implemented into marriage. I cannot hold any longer to sleep on her plump body, suck her Ruby red lip or hug her when the night is cold. That is, every night I only slept with bolsters and mosquito garden.

            I stopped the bike under a banyan tree at the end of the village road. I sit in the roots of this large tree, hiding from the heat of this afternoon in the shade. And my mind wandered away, toward the good times when acquainted with Mimin. The girl who will lives in my heart and coloring my days! Oh ... fall in love turns exciting. It is more fun than watching the drive in, Rhoma Irama’s film.

            Yeah, that was the beginning I met Mimi. In a step on the screen spectacle that is held by the head of the village to welcome the day of independence, she was accidentally hit me when crammed looking for a place to sit.

            “Sorry that was an accident…,” she said softly.

            My body shook as heard her soft voice and a shy smile, my chest burning flame of romance, don’t want to lose the opportunity to not know Mimin further. Naturally, now I'm the head of the two, and I had time to get married, my manhood hormones could no longer be controlled.

            “Never mind… let’s sit here! The view is clearer in here…,” I said.

            Never knew before if Mimin would sit beside me, without wasting the opportunity, I took out all the ability to lure Mimin with light chatter and jokes that make Mimin increasingly feel relaxed watching the open theatre beside me.

            “Let me drive you home!”

            “No thanks… I’ll back home by my self…”

            “No, I get motorbike… just relax!”

Furthermore, we are dating. My days very beautiful now, falling in love is immense taste. Can not imagine how come a beautiful village girl, who is still a virgin, innocent can give her heart to me, an unemployment man that just looking for job or taxi bike if it has not found any other income. I'm happy, very happy.

 Various chimeras appeared in my head, I became more alive. More colorful, and I'm more confident that I was a decent young man admired by women like Mimin. After all, I'm also not stupid village youth, I ever went to school, and my grades good.

            However, the joy did not last long. Mimin’s father asked me to go to his house, there is an important conversation that will be discussed. Make my heart pounding, all alleged to be in my head, a thousand prejudices about the relationship will fail just like that.

            “Sit!” Mimin’s father asked. I sat in front of him with drum beats heart. Uncertain!

“Straight to the point, what you have so you dare to loving my daughter?” he asked.

            “Nggghhh… uhm… ngggh….”

            “Nothing? Huh! Better you step back before you can prove nothing to make Mimin happy in the future.”

            The words were very painful for me. Breaking my ears drum and tear down all the wishful thinking that has been constructed in my mind for a long time. Parents are always selfish. As well as my parents always told me to go to the city for work, I'm lazy. I can enjoy my days with what it is like. For me, this is more than enough, which is important to eat, sleep well and have a motorbike to play here and there, why should get tired to work?

            If I remember it, I feel weak. Life there is no passion, Mimin is stabbed me right in my heart that I could not pull out again from the heart, I want to be with her. My eyes looked banyan leaves blowing in the wind, falling. My eyes stare endlessly falling leaves that fall right on my bike license plate. Instantly, I think something by looked at the number. I immediately stand up, turn on the motor and step on the gas to the crossroad.

            “6324!” I say, jump from the motorbike.

            “Isn’t it your motorbike license plate?”

            “It’s divine inspiration! This is banyan tree’s divine inspiration!” I’m yelling happily.

            While others just shocking their head, there also some of them who cocked finger to forehead, indicating that the brain has been tilted. But, I don’t care, I have to get a lot of money to proposed Mimin. Oh ... Mimin wait! I will definitely make you happy.

***

            Days by days, weeks by weeks, months by months, years by years I did toggle gambling. But haven’t got the results, all the beautiful clothes I sell them for asset, I stole mother jewelry and sell it, until I sell the motorbike too, but have not got the results

            I ran into the woods, to the mountains, to the waterfall, into the grave to seeing divine inspiration, seek inspiration from the unseen who will give numbers that I need to win, but always failed, always never showed better results. Until gambling toggle was eradicated by the police, I’m a beggar now. Now I’m just daydreaming thinking about how to get money to proposed Mimin.

            “I told you before! Just go to the city. Look at your friends when they are coming back home in Lebaran day, bringing cars, motorbikes, built a house, buy land and marry a beautiful woman!” that’s what my mother said.

            I'm tired hearing her chatter, which never stop comparing me with someone else. Me is me, here I am. So why I should follows people? Is there we doomed our own fate? That is often Kyai said when I studying Qur’an, when I was a little boy.

            “I don’t want you be an old single, no one wants you because you are unemployed! Life must accept the fact. We are the poor, so work. If we do not work, how we can eat? How to sleep well? How could give the child eat if you already have a wife someday?”

            Ah… Mother just knowing grumble, I still having fun write the number on white papers, looking for lucky numbers. From the date of my birthday, my mother birthday, from the date Mimin’s birth. Eh? Mimin? How is her?

            “You know Ferdi? Your childhood friend! Now he is a billionaire, and now he is proposed Mimin, and the reception is seven days seven nights. Puppet show, dangdut stage, open theatre, until marawisan. Complete!!!”

            What? Mimin was proposed? Hell no! Had she promise me to always be faithful waiting until I get a lot of money? Why are so easy to turn? I run out of the house, leaving mother who amazed staring at my behavior, I keep running toward Mimin’s house. I just wanted to say that soon I would be a rich man. I've found the right numbers, the number of the birth date of me and Mimin. Very nice, beautiful numbers!

            My feet stumble, I fall. But, I get up again. I don’t care about my injuries, as long as not hurt my heart, I shall notify Mimin before it's too late, before Ferdi marry her. I run through banana plantation that bordered Mimin’s home to my house, I needed to arrive quickly.

            But what I see when I arrived to Mimin’s house. There is a man, well-dressed, shiny black hair because he use pomade, he is chatting with Mimin, very close. Even Mimin so spoiled to him, occasionally the man hold Mimin’s hand. My heart is really burning by fire of jealousy, head boil. However, I could only watch with clenched hand.

***

            Mbah Asem sits down with cross-legged under a banyan tree down the road, his eyes closed and his mouth moving. A famous shaman with all his power is being meditated. He is now very old, long white hair, his clothes in tatters, and his body odor because unwashed. As a child, I often met him after back home from studying Qur’an, he sometimes laugh showing his rottenness teeth and always say things that somehow I believe.

            His eyes opened and looked at me, his eyes very sharp indicating a very loud person.         “Have you found the Heaven?” ask him.

            “I had the address number, this!" I handed the paper that has been abysmally shape.          We looked at the paper, and then burst out laughing, very painful laughter. The laughter of madmen who are lonely! Very lonely! Meanwhile, those people who pass and see us, laughing so carefree, very jovial even to forget their self.

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